Lincoln/Mercury/Lincoln/Mercury

to clarify...it's a Lincoln MKZ. Not a Mercury. Even though I think they are interchangeable.

Here's a pic of what I am strutting around Miami in.

Bienvenidos A Miami: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

The Good:

• NOOOO Line at Security at the atlanta airport. Those of you who have been through this airport know what a big deal this really is.
• My beautiful rental car. Spotless 2008 Mercury MKZ with leather interior, moonroof, satellite radio and bluetooth. The rental car gods are smiling down on me :)
• Great malls in Miami (This could also be filed under "The Bad". Just ask my boyfriend. Or anyone who knows me, for that matter)
• The company AmEx (See the last 2 items under "The Bad")

The Bad:

• My brand new bottle of Nexxus Heat Protex ($14.99/bottle) spilled in my suitcase. I am only here for 3 days, so I brought the bare minimum.
• I went to dinner in wet jeans.
• I am now sitting in damp pajamas.
• One of my shirts is stained an odd beige color and the Tide Pen just isn't cutting it.
• Parking is $8 a night at my hotel. Dang Marriott!
• Internet is $12.95 a day at my hotel.

The Ugly: (Or in my case, the just plain weird)

• There was a half green, half orange unidentified fruit under the passenger side seat of the Lincoln. I noticed it when I was getting my stuff out to bring into the hotel. Look for a picture when I get home!
• The maid came in my room when I was gone. The tv was on, but I have mints on my pillow. Well, toffee flavored chocolate.

Every Rose Has It's Thorn

Pics to be posted soon, I promise.

No, I did not meet Bret.

Or Heather. I am more upset I didn't meet Heather. I did see her though.

Emily and I did find 3 cast members for RoL 3.

And a possible first male cast member.

Can't wait to post the pics!! Coming soon....

Let Me Be Your Rock of Love

So....POISON is tonight. Never mind that its raining like crazy. I am going with my friend Emily.

She doesn't know it yet but I bought us Ponchos(clear ones so you can see our great outfits)!!

I think I am more excited at the possibility of seeing the fabulous Heather from Rock of Love Season 1.

And we hear Bret is single, ladies of Birmingham. Even though it looks like Ambre from Season 2 is in town also...

Emily and I have decided we are casting RoL Season 3 tonight, so ladies of Birmingham...watch out!

***Pictures and material coming soon...I know I will have TONS!!!***

Another Orlando Highlight

Oh, how I love painted buildings.

Especially patriotic ones.

That sell t-shirts 5 for $2.99.

It just doesn't get any better.

Until you find out there is a WaHo attached. Then its heaven.

Damage courtesy of the L.O.L.

So if you aren't familiar with the L.O.L., see my first post (ever!). Here are pictures of the damage:

It's not so bad...just waiting to hear from the insurance adjuster(s)!!

Late Night Visitor

So as I am brushing my teeth last night, getting ready for bed, I look up above my mirror and this little guy is crawling around my wall...

...At first I think, he's fine, let him hang out...I really don't want to kill it.

Then I think about the fact that we eat 8 spiders in our life in our sleep.

I really don't want to eat a centipede.

So I resolve to kill it. The thing is mighty active...scaling the wall in record time.

I watch him for a second and resolve that a shoe would be best.

I grab one of my (expendable) high heels and get to work.

The critter is so fast that I just get it moving faster away from me with the first whack.

He is now so close to the ceiling that I am going to have a hard time finding an angle.

I am now slinking across the counter to the other side of the bathroom-the little critter is fast!

I try one more time-and instead of a hit, I scare him into letting go of the wall. He tumbles down into the clutter on my counter-in between my hand towel and makeup bag.

I decide that the shoe I've chosen won't cut it. I run into my room, grab a cowboy boot, and get back to work.

I remove a makeup bag first-no dice.

Then I slide the towel off it's ring and the little creature goes running through my makeup. GROSS GROSS GROSS.

Somehow, the little guy ends up on the floor, where I proceed to smash him to bits with the cowboy boot. It takes a few tries, and when I am finally convinced he is dead, I survey the wreckage and realize my knuckle is bleeding.

All of that and I can't really write today because my knuckle is sore.

Should have left the little guy alone!

A good thing about Orlandoooo...

You will never, ever, ever be underdressed.

As long as you are wearing at least a speedo.

I ate dinner at a white tablecloth, $40+/person restaurant.
I counted 6 fanny packs and more sneakers than any other type of footwear.
K-Swiss was the preferred brand.

And there were enough cargo shorts to outfit an entire fraternity.

Orlan-DOH!

Much to David's chagrin, Orlando is definitely not one of my favorite places in the world.

This might have something to do with it:


The Holy Land Experience.
I'm sure it has its benefits. But seriously? Jesus at a theme park?
At that, I'm going to leave the discussion alone.
Form your own opinion.
http://www.holylandexperience.com

More *fabulous* highlights of my day in Orlando (trust me, there are many more) to come when I can upload pics!

addendum

Just to elaborate: the L.O.L. was 86.

It's on the incident report.

I think that's an important point.

Betty and the Rental

I had been in the car for 2.5 hours.
It was 11.00. I was hungry. It was hot.
I was sitting at a red light, on my way to my first sales call of the day in Naples, Florida.
BAM! The sound of metal crunching against the back end of my rented Haundai Sonata jolts me out of my thoughts.
I won't share the word that came out of my mouth. Use your imagination.
I looked in my rearview mirror and saw *truly* a little old lady throwing her hands in the air.
We moved into the turn lane, out of the way of direct traffic.
All I'm thinking is, "I didn't get insurance on the rental. I didn't get insurance on this car. My boss is going to kill me. It's her fault!"

So we pull over, I get out, scrabble around for my phone *battery dying* and check to see if she is okay. I keep wondering why she isn't getting out of her car to inspect the damage and give me a lecture. She doesn't get out! Then I see the handicap tag hanging from her mirror. Then I feel bad. Momentarily.

I can't really walk up to her window because she isn't all the way out of traffic. I see her looking through paperwork and the occasional expletive coming out of her mouth as she searches.

When the firetruck arrives, she finally gets out of the car.
I am on the phone with 911 and hang up when they get there.
The firemen ask for our licenses and insurance. I hand over appropriate documentation.
The L.O.L (little old lady-whose name is Bette, I just like calling her the L.O.L.) still hasn't found her insurance. She looks at me, then at my phone, then says, "Well I don't have a cell phone to call and find out about my insurance." I apologetically offer her mine. Then I think, Why am I apologizing?! She hit me!

This is the best. After all this, the deputy is writing up the report-everyone knows its her fault-i think they see this a lot around here-the L.O.L looks at me, my phone (again) and then says, "Well, I need to call my doctor since I'm late for my appointment and all..." I tell her she can use my phone. She produces a business card then says, "Well I don't know how to use these modern phones..." so I dial the number for her. (anyone getting this? or am I the only one that thinks this is hilarious?)

They put the L.O.L on hold. The deputy comes and asks her for something else (her registration, I think) so she looks at me and says, "Will you hold this? They have me on hold."

So I am standing in the middle of a wreck that was not my fault, using the last remaining battery power on my work phone to be placed on hold for the L.O.Ls doctor's office. Then they hang up on me (us)!

So I call back. This girl answers the phone yammering about something else. I cut her off and tell her "I'm calling for Betty Nelson...yeah, she just hit me...she's going to be late for her doctor's appointment..."

And so the day went.